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Submarine on a Mountain (Design Map by Jackie Milton)
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Rating: 6.50 in 2 ratings
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Jackie Milton (06/29/2016 08:18pm):
So this is something I've been working on for a while (or at least I started it a while ago), and I've just gotten
around to finishing it, mostly as a product of procrastination, because at the time I'm posting this, I will be away
from AWBW for at least six weeks. So, what is this? Well, it's a map that reflects a poem, both of which are a
dedication to a personal hero of mine. I should note, however, that it is not about, to, or detailing for said hero,
but rather, inspired by them. I will also note that I won't check this map for a very long time. Having said that, I
invite all discussion or interpretation about the map, poem, or whatever. So I'll just leave this here.

Submarine on a Mountain

The sky turned black, and green, and grey-
-The gale storm churned up the seas-
-And violently swayed the aged wood-
-And kings it wrought unto their keeps.
-Lit the air and fanned the breeze.-
-It forced the folk to cellars deep,-
-And wings and legs and fins alike-
-A darkness rising beyond the fray-
-It cloaked the land in shrouded hood-
-Clung to life in the death of night.

Piercing the darkened, vile veil,
The spears of the hand of the Sun
Bounced off his metal shell.

“Awake!
You sulking steel thing, the day has just begun;
Out of place, without a face,
There is no where can you run.”

The water receded laying in waste
The Earth below. Buildings leveled,
Graves unearthed, and bodies cast
About the base of a mountain bold.

The monument high above the ground,
Gazed upon the evening's wrath,
Yet it did not rise atop the storm:
The floodwaters scraped its neck.

Between two peaks lay a rusted boat;
His hull was bludgeoned and cracked.
In the open sun, the surface was hot,
He wanted the cold, but could not have.

He wished the warmth of the frigid abyss,
Where the world had paid no heed.
For the solitary world below the surface,
Would give him again a shroud to hide.

He creaked and groaned in testing heat,
And with air at all, and air was thin,
He choked and gagged on the waterless set:
The upbringing suffocated him.

Then time went by, his mind relaxed,
And still yearning for his world before,
He accepted that, though hull unwaxed,
He now was here and furthermore

Below him lied a green picturesque
Not waste, but beauty across the land.
It was shaken, yes, but not grotesque;
Its survival inspired, its life so grand.

The treeline met an endless beach.
Beyond the sand, the ocean sighed.
Not like the night for then it screeched --
The storm was truly all that died.

A small bird perched alone on his deck,
It explored his being and pecked about,
Then it flew away quickly, all but a speck.
It later returned with twigs in its mouth.

And so he sat beneath the stars,
What's left of his past is now but scars
Accustomed not to this foreign loam
Yet here he is, without his chrome.

Unlikely that the circumstance is,
But is a fact, and therefore his
To continue on with purpose new
Despite the tempest's blight on you.

-J
(The "J" is for "Jackie")
Last Edited on 07/14/2017 07:42pm
Bamboozle (07/04/2016 11:07pm):
Invasion from Nyvelionland?
Xmo5 (07/05/2016 12:49pm):
teel galaxy invaion?
Nyvelion (07/05/2016 12:50pm):
Spanish Inquisition?
Xmo5 (07/05/2016 12:59pm):
Didn't see that one coming.
liandry (07/12/2016 03:57am):
If only the other sub were on a mountain, then that sub wouldn't be alone...
good stuff tho
Nyvelion (08/01/2016 09:46am):
No, it's meant to be lonely at the top of the mountain. It represents a choice we all make.
Freedom in isolation, with nobody to disappoint or be accountable to, or be trapped in a
sea of pain forever.
Xmo5 (08/08/2016 11:44am):
I saw it as a matter of circumstance. The sub didn't want to be on the mountain, and
longed to return back to the sea and the life that it once knew. But then it was stuck,
broken and on display, uncomfortably so. It's uplifting though, because despite being
unable to reverse the consequences of the storm, "the storm was truly all that died." The
sub carried on, cracked, worn, and exposed as it was, but with a different, higher
perspective where it could see a whole new beauty that was previously unknown to it. I see
it as a rebirth from the ashes, a bittersweet take on tragedy, or a Saiyan being beaten
down close to death, only to return all the stronger.

Yes, I just used DBZ in my poetry analysis.
Nyvelion (08/08/2016 12:11pm):
...now I feel like that submarine on a mountain. Except for that last part about coming
back stronger.
Last Edited on 08/08/2016 12:11pm
Xmo5 (08/08/2016 01:12pm):
The submarine didn't think so at first either.


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