Zak's Dream
Creator: Infentree || First Published: 04/25/2024 || Players: 2 || Size: 20x20
Categories: None
Rating: 7.00 in 3 ratings
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Comments:
Infentree (04/25/2024 08:53pm):
There is a shadow council within the map committee that despises Koal and seeks to undermine our glorious road toad at
every opportunity. In the original iteration of this map the only road tiles were tucked away in the back by the base, an
impossible tile to utilize, and this was done by design purely to mock and belittle Koal.

They have made their Jake bias all too well known, seeing that nearly every GL map is full of plains, but hark! For the map
committee shills claim they do this for ‘balance’ or ‘fun’ but the addition of Nightmare of Heiankyou (the map) to the map pool
finally snapped me out of my stupor, for it proves definitively, without a shadow of a doubt, that there are dark forces at play
who seek to oppress Koal and to artificially prop up Jake. This was a perfect opportunity to give Koal something, anything
and yet, out of sheer malice, they denied him even a single map where he can shine.

The shills may move the goalpost and instead claim it’s ‘aesthetic’ or somesuch. A Touhou reference? How asinine! There’s
hundreds of characters and spell cards, to the point that nearly everything can be a Touhou reference. How they reach!
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and besides that, perusing the map pools across GL history I find maps that make Toy
Box look like Spann Island. Some are absolutely horrendous! Have you ever seen any beach, nay any geographical feature
anywhere in which the shoals go criss-cross in a grid pattern? No. That wouldn’t make sense because it isn’t natural. Do you
know what you can see? Town and cities where roads intersect like this.

As you can see this map is Nightmare of Heiankyou but I replaced (nearly) every shoal with a road, except for a few for
‘aesthetics.’ This map functions identically to the original save for the absence of the option to build boat transports but you
weren’t ever going to build a BB that takes 4 turns to do anything, don’t kid yourself. It’s natural that certain maps favor
certain COs, so having some where Koal is viable should be a matter of course, but no, that is against their doctrine. You
could even say that variety in viable CO selection and strategies employed within the GL meta is ‘fun’ but I say that there is
no fun to be had within T4 when every map is Jake dominant. Adder and Jess sometimes show up but never Koal. Is that not
curious?

Ask yourselves why every GL map is full of plains, Jake’s favored tile? Now ask yourself why they continue to use mostly
plains when this map, and others, prove that having a lot of 0 star terrain tiles works within the framework of our meta. Next
ask yourself why they choose to use shoals instead of roads. The answer is obvious: there is an entrenched anti-Koal
coalition within the map committee, and I will stop at nothing to expose them. Let this map be a shining example of the
growing movement to overthrow the fascist Jake fanboys in the map committee. I see through their lies and propaganda
and now I hope you will, as well.
I encourage people to be on the lookout for Anti-Koal activity. This is merely one of the more egregious instances but there
are more once you start to look. The proper response is peaceful (yet fiery) protests. We can start by replacing shoals on
some maps with roads. The next step would be new maps where many roads are present and relevant. Join me, let’s work
toward the dawn of true freedom, where every road toad is free to march and be free of woe!
Jesus of Suburbia (04/26/2024 10:10am):
This map's whole design philosophy is a mistake.

You see, Lash is like that hidden gem in your strategy game roster, the one you don't immediately grasp the potential of until
you start experimenting with her powers. Her CO Power Terrain Tactics turns every property on the map into a super
fortress, making her the queen of defense. But, on these Koal friendly maps, where terrain is scarce, she's like a fish out of
water. It's like trying to use a flamethrower in a rainforest, the environment just doesn't vibe with her strengths.

So, why should Lash's viability dictate good map design? Well, it all boils down to balance. A good map should cater to all
important (Tier 3 and up) commanders, providing them with opportunities to shine and strategies to explore. If Lash, with all
her strategic potential, finds herself struggling to make an impact on these maps, it's a sign that the map might need some
tweaking.

Imagine a map designer as a maestro conducting an orchestra of gameplay elements. Each unit, terrain type, and
commander is like a different instrument in the symphony of strategy. Now, if the leading instrument is off-key or drowned
out by the others, the whole composition suffers. Similarly, if Lash, with her unique playstyle, can't find her rhythm on a map,
then it's like having a discordant note in an otherwise harmonious melody.
However, if Koal, irrelevant as he is, cannot find his rhythm on a map, it is as though Kenneth Miller (Yes, I know it was you)
lets out a loud cough rather than applause as the curtain falls.

But fear not, for every problem has a solution, and in the realm of map design, it often comes down to creativity and
ingenuity. Perhaps introducing more varied terrain features, replacing the roads with tiles like mountains, forests, or rivers,
could provide Lash with the strategic playground she needs to thrive.

In the end, the mark of a truly great map designer is their ability to create environments that not only challenge players but
also inspire them to think outside the box. And what better litmus test for good map design than the viability of a commander
like Lash? So, let's raise our power bars to the architects of battlefields that let Lash be viable rather than let Koal bowl.
Raedel (04/26/2024 01:18pm):
10/10 for the essay, you've swayed me to be pro-Koal (lul, greenies getting mad).
Even though ratings don't even mean anything, a mere 1984 illusion of choice the map
committee gives us, thinking a "higher" rating proves superiority.

Also, if a map doesn't have "good" terrain for poor Lash, then just...don't pick her?
OutlineY (04/26/2024 05:58pm):
i aint readin allat
Infentree (04/26/2024 06:50pm):
There is no reason why Lash sisters and Koal brothers cannot come together in solidarity against our shadow overlords. The
0-star roads work together with higher star terrain to allow Lash the threat of strong hits on undefended units. Not every map
can reasonably accommodate both COs but there's also no reason that the two can't both be strong on certain maps.
More importantly, the rivalry between road hater and road toad is in actuality artificially constructed by the shadow council to
keep us fighting among ourselves, so we never turn our heads to the shadows where they plot and sin. I say the Koalition
and Lash Libertarians should be working TOGETHER and not in a dark conflict!
Creative (04/27/2024 09:18am):
My brother in Christ, you don't need to write an political essay about COs who are too situational in Global Leagues or other
competitive maps. I am surprised the map is uncategorized because of the map committee having headache about the essays
instead asymmetrical issue, FTA or STA, or anything make the gameplay bad.
Uncharted᎓ Jake`s Fortune (04/27/2024 09:49am):
Ayo, what is this anti-plains conspiracy?
I paid good money for these design trends and y'all aren't going to ruin my bribery with your
politics and protests!
Infentree (04/28/2024 11:23pm):
The Jake Lobby is not even trying to hide their duplicity. What further proof is needed? Let it be
known we are not here to merely protest, we are here to start a revolution.
(On a serious note, if you notice any asymmetry point it out, I thought I converted the tiles
properly but the map being flawed would bring only shame to the Koalition)



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