One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy
Creator: RobertJoe || First Published: 01/02/2026 || Players: 16 || Size: 50x50
Categories: None
Rating: 9.18 in 11 ratings
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Comments:
RobertJoe (01/02/2026 02:57am):
I am an appreciator of long, pointless and boring games where nothing interesting happens. After enlightening the world
with A Waste of Time and Desert Bus Advance Wars Edition, this is my latest stunning masterpiece.

Team A for Orange Star, everyone else on Team B.
Banned units: All except Submarines and Missiles.
Banned Main COs: All except Javier, Flak, and Jugger (Best CO in the game, by the way)
Banned Tag COs: All except Jugger and Flak.
No fog.
Low (But not zero) funds.
No unit limit.
No time limit (Obviously).
No capture limit.
Random Weather (Very important, as much as I love constant snow for slowing the game to a crawl, it makes this map
literally unwinnable for Team B)
All turn clock values cranked up as far as humanly possible, so everyone has to wait a month or more if someone is kicked
due to inactivity.

OS should play Javier, and all others should play Jugger/Flak. Though others should not pick Javier, it is not the end of the
world if they do so since OS's comm towers are completely inaccessible and no indirect units can be built to have his
defense against them mean anything.

The rows at the top and bottom of the map provide an interesting scenario. If any one of OS's HQs are captured, Team B
wins. Giving them a theoretical path to victory. However, this is not effectively possible since OS has one APC per lane.
Meaning that they can block any capture attempts. The number of comm towers with OS playing Javier means that it is
impossible for the infantry to destroy the APC. So, it will need to move to the other side of the lane to capture the opposite
HQ, but OS can simply teleport tile the APC there to block that as well.

All lanes include refueling sections at their centers so that the attacker's infantry never runs out of fuel, being able to go on
forever. The rest of the tiles are mountains, ensuring that everything is nice, slow, and boring.

The center section is the "Missile Funzone(TM)". In the Missile Funzone(TM), players can create as many missiles (And
nothing else) as they want whenever they finally save up enough funds to build them. An entire field is provided to drive
them around until they run out of fuel. But, WATCH OUT! Orange Star has a single 1HP infantry that can slowly chip away
at your missiles! So BE CAREFUL! Two APC resupply sections are provided, so that OS can refuel the infantry, but not
actually heal it so that it causes more damage.

OS should be played by a true, honorable boring game appreciator. Since they are the only player that has to follow a set of
rules:
1. Javier must be picked as the main CO, and OS cannot tag into their secondary CO.
2. If a player of Team B is defeated (By being inactivity kicked, of course), OS MUST delete their APC in that player's
associated lane.
3. OS cannot use their 1HP infantry to capture any buildings in the Missile Funzone(TM), as that could allow it to be healed
to full HP. Which would mean it could cause more damage and thus would be less funny. Worse still, OS could create their
own Missiles. Which is a mortifying concept with that many comm towers.

I hope you all enjoy, and have really long, pointless and boring games!
duck658 (01/02/2026 01:33pm):
10/10, this is true innovation, right here. Hegel has nothing on this masterpiece in insomnia therapy. When are you getting your Nobel prize?
496.Imparfaite (01/02/2026 09:13pm):
This is prime material for Joke category
Raedel (01/02/2026 10:32pm):
Alive Internet Theory?
kurp (01/04/2026 01:27pm):
lol you are a genius
Cosechador (01/04/2026 08:00pm):
Strategically placed rivers: 11/10
Raedel (01/31/2026 05:22am):
*I'd at least pave the middle so the missiles can finally drive their 40kms/hr



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