Crispy Shrimp, Po' Boy?
Creator: Jimmy(Payne) || First Published: 02/16/2016 || Players: 2 || Size: 13x15
Categories: None
Rating: 0 in 0 ratings
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Comments:
Jimmy(Payne) (02/16/2016 12:17am):
That feeling. The queasiness -- my body began to shiver. My innards spin as that of gears
on a clock. There was only one culprit; it was the grease that propelled the terrible mass
to the bowels of my bowel. I had to eradicate the intruder.

My body moved down the hall. Down, down the hall. There was a door -- no, two small doors:
"Po' Boys" and "Po' Girls." The former swung open and I ducked beneath it. The stall was
on the end, passed the urinal. Urinals? Three?! So small. For Children?

Inside the stall. No... how? Two more stall doors. This is madness. Each door on top of
the other. Top: Locked. I can't. My intestines squirmed. I have to.... The bottom creaks
open. Four feet of room; I cannot stand. I back into the stall hoping to land upon the
toilet. My cheeks contact. One hot, one cold. I look behind me. Adjacent my rear sit four
porcelain thrones no more than two feet high. To the best of my abilities, I plant my
derriere on one. I let loose the dogs of war. Alas, I cannot. Was that only one dog, or
was it two? My sphincter aches. What unholy nightmare is this!?I know what I must do; I
shift my buttocks to the next seat over. At last! I can release. I repeat on the other
two. Is it over? I reach to wipe and realize the battle has only begun.

Above me lies an unfathomable amount of pulltabs. With no other choice, I pull the nearest
one. In my hands, a strip of bath tissue one inch by six inches. I wipe. And pull. Wipe.
Pull. Wipe. Pull. Wipe. Pull. Wipe. Pull.... Wipe. Flush. Flush. Flush. Flush. When will
this nightmare end!?

I crawl out of the stall. The Home Stretch. I leave the outer stall. I must wash my hands
of the sins encountered in this Tartarus. My emotions have left me. All I feel now is a
burning desire for survival. I do not care that there are forty individual sinks that drip
one droplet at a time. I do not care that there are eight miniature soap dispensers, seven
of which bone dry, the last nearly empty. I do not care that each paper towel is the size
of my finger nail. I only wish to see the light of day...

I stuff my paper towels in the mousehole of a trashcan, and make my way to the exit. I
push open the door; I can smell the freedom. The fresh air brushes against my face, and I
see the light. I stand triumphant. For a moment, I am victorious. Then I feel it; I have
to pee.....

-J(P)
start (02/16/2016 01:33am | Edited: 02/16/2016 01:47am):
This is a really clever map! I'd love to try it out, but it's missing an FTA-counter.

My only other concern: The lack of contested properties might lead to stalemates. That said, I
suspect it's more difficult to stalemate on low-income maps.

-J.J.M.
(The "J" stands for "J(P)")
Xmo5 (02/16/2016 03:43pm):
O_o
Jimmy(Payne) (02/17/2016 10:44pm):
Thanks.

I put in an FTA counter. Is it the right base?

-J(Huh?)



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